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Dear Graduates: Congratulations on making it through the easiest part of your life!
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra.
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
Stress balls work best when you shove them down somebody`s throat.
Why is it the less money someone makes the better they are at reproducing?
Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I`ll take lookout.
The guy that discovered milk.. What did you tell your friends were you doing to that cow? O_o
The realization that Netflix knows me better than my closest friends....
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
A real friend is someone who knows how damn crazy you are... But is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper
Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.
You can tell a lot about a person by putting a hidden camera in their bedroom.
Never be mean to nerds. You never know, one day you might be working for them!