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Why do they always have 5K runs for charity? Just once, couldn’t they have a sit for charity or nap for charity?
Little to no thought was put into this status.
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
I saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons earlier.....must be going through a tough period in her life....
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a prescription bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness."
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
My therapist just offered me my money back.
I`ve had this ant farm for a year now and these lazy bastards still haven`t grown any crops.
Odd how all the `intelligent life finding instruments` are pointed away from earth.
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they`ll dig the wrong way. It`s called thinking ahead guys.
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.
You can`t always decide who walks into your life, but you can decide which window to throw them out of.