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*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as I suspected. wind.
Most problems can be solved with nudity
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
I ate too much salad over the weekend so I`m going on an Oreo cleanse today.
Shout out to good looking women who date unattractive men who aren`t rich, thanks for keeping hope alive.
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
I see you liked my status... I accept your invitation for sex.
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
It’s only a matter of time until “Security Cameras of Wal-Mart” is a reality TV show.
I hope all your dreams come true, especially that one where you`re being chased by a giant spider.
I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach, and hardcore pornography.
I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty.
I think I`m funny - but looks aren`t everything
I`m so in Debt, I could start a Government.
The Best Excuse given by a Lady for Missing Work ! "My husband took an overdose of Viagra.....Couldn`t leave him alone with the Maid"