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Not sure if my dog is barking for no reason or Iām about to be murdered.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
I`m God`s gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
I would offer moral support ... But my morals are questionable.
Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
Is anyone going to tell America`s funniest videos about YouTube?
I don`t get why girls get so offended by sexist jokes..I think they are just ovary-acting. Seriously..
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.
I wish "You idiot" was an appropriate way to end a work email.
Don`t take nude pics. Problem solved.