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My fella asked me to name all my sexual partners. I took a couple of minutes to list them and eventually got to him. Should of stopped there
I just peed so hard that I laughed a little.
I`m a bad multitasker and even a questionable monotasker
The only way I know if I’ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger.
There are two ways to go about arguing with a woman and neither one works.
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
You haven`t really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought "that`s a fair trade."
I don`t know what`s longer, a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
Today was about as much fun as a warm toilet seat in a public restroom!
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
Men who claim women belong in the kitchen definitely do not know what to do with them in the bedroom!
The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it "Contains Peanuts" makes me extremely nervous for the human race.
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?