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Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
You`d think the nerds on The Big Bang could fix that stupid elevator.
If a girl can kick your a$$ at video games, she’s a keeper.
Whoever says "you need two to tango" obviously hasn`t seen me drunk.
Wouldn`t it be great to revive the old "Mutual Of Omaha`s Wild Kingdom" show, but with a new setting? Like a WalMart Store in Kentucky?
loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for a week
I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
People think I`m a hugger, but I`m actually shaking them down for snacks.
The wifes exhausted as she`s had some hot steamy action lately, But at least the ironing basket is empty