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People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
A wireless bra? They weren`t tricky enough, now I need a password?
I tried to log in on my ipad. Turns out it was an Etch-a-Sketch and I don`t own an ipad. Also, I`m out of vodka.
This salad tastes like I`m about done with my New Year`s Resolution.
If your friends don`t make fun of you, they`re not really your friends.
Cigarettes have warning labels because they are dangerous and addictive yet vaginas are allowed to just roam around freely.
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
just keep scrolling nothing to see hear
Size does matter ... When ordering a pizza
Sarcasm: because beating the sh!t out of people is illegal.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.
Subway only exists because we`re all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here`s $8."