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Have you hugged you bartender today.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye, but she was seeing someone on the side.
Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
Forecast for the weekend... mild alcoholism, with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday.
If someone starts a sentence with "words can`t express," brace yourself, because they`re about to give it a hell of a try anyway.
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
Every pizza is a personal pizza, if you try hard and believe in yourself.
I drink because people talk.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 10% of battery remaining.
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
Looking forward to `Breaking Bad` merchandise. Especially the cook book.
Alcohol doesn`t get people drunk, people get people drunk. Drunk people get other drunk people extra drunk.
Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
If I have nosy neighbors, I always like to dig five 7 ft. x 3 ft. x 6 ft. holes in the back yard and every couple of days, Fill one in.
I`ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I`m actually talking to someone.