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Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
30+ and single? There`s an app for that. Wait. My mistake. A cat for that.
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
Tupperware is so handy for those times when you feel like throwing out your food another day.
Spice up your Facebook experience by making your status updates your google searches.
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
Good friends don’t let you do dumb things… alone.
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we`re pigs.
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, “neighborhood watch” isn’t what I thought it was.
I`m ok with women faking it in bed. I faked everything to get her there.