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my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
People keep asking me what my resolutions are, like they can`t see I`m already perfect...
The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...
I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
Life is what you make it = 10% Shit happens = 90%
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
When people say "To be honest...", it means that up to that point they`ve been lying.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut
If animals spoke our language we`d be in their debt because they`d have some seriously incriminating dirt on all of us.
I`m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn`t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
When I see a girl with too much makeup, I just want to use my finger to write "Wash Me" on her face.
Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!
I`m sleeping in tell Friday so ... Happy Tuesday.
I hate it when I open Facebook and miss a week of work.