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Financial status: I hope United Airlines drags me off my flight
Just so you know, the movie "Life of Pi" has nothing to do with dessert.
To be honest, I panic a bit right before I have to pronounce Worcestershire sauce.
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
have you ever tried waking up in the morning? its horrible, the sun`s the wrong place and your head is so damn heavy.
A party without Vodka is just a meeting.
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
Can anyone recommend a few thousand books on hoarding?
"Thank God!!! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"