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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I thought we had something. You met my family, made us dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
Einstein was wrong. The real definition of insanity is trying to clean your house when you have children.
Please don`t hastag out loud...
You know nothing about a woman, until she is drunk and mad at you.
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
I do 5 sit ups daily. It might not sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
I don`t know what`s longer, a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
If the Dollar Store ever starts selling alcohol....drinks are on me.
Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think "Wow, these are Awesome!"
I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
I used to think drinking was bad until i stopped thinking
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?