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I have off-road rage, too
The biggest problem with two-faced people is, never knowing which face to slap first.
I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
I just came online to check the weather. That was 12 years ago.
Is it annoying when people answer their own questions? Yes it is. Do I wish they would stop? Absolutely.
My house has really let itself go.
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
I don`t need your advice. I do a great job of screwing up my life all by myself, thank you!
If your wife says "what would you do without me?" "Live happily ever after" is NOT the correct answer.
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!
Technically, every picture is a before picture.