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It’s the getting ahead that I’m running behind on.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying free samples at the grocery store. Just make sure they’re samples. And free. And it’s a grocery store.
Don`t rush me. I`m waiting for the last minute.
I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.
I`ve been told that I never take responsibility for anything, and it`s all your fault.
A guy outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I told him, I feel like it would take longer than that
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
One small step for man one giant step for a really small man
Some life lessons are so profound; you only need to do them one time. Putting Icy Hot on my balls, for example …
In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
Day 10: I am thankful there are only 20 days left for all my friends to be thankful about how awesome their lives are.
After socializing and being nice to people all day it`s nice to sit down, drink by myself, and be an a$$hole on the Internet.
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.
Hope dogs are kissing us and not trying to see if we started tasting good yet.