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I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
I was going to write something profound and memorable here, but I can`t remember what it was.
I wish the media and politicians would stop jumping to delusions.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
I`m not the type of person you should put on speaker phone
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
It only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby. Does that not blow your mind. Like at least there should be some flour or something.
Scream “Chrome is better than Firefox” around a group of geeks if you wanna see them argue for 2 hours.
I thought a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it only changes the color of the baby.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
This patience thing takes forever.
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
Your girlfriend is rated E... For Everyone
You find it offensive?... I find it funny.... That`s why I`m happier than you