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Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
I don’t really forgive people I just pretend like it`s okay and wait for my opportunity to destroy them.
Bitch I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
If life was easy, we wouldn`t need alcohol.
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
I’ve never pretended to be anything I’m not…except for sober. I’ve pretended to be sober a few times.
I remember when going viral meant having to tell several people they better get tested.
if you were 2 times as smart as you are now ... you would still be stupid
Dear piece of paper that wont go in the dust pan ... f*ck you!
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
When you turn 21, you can legally do all the things you`ve been doing since you were 15.
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.
I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on for awhile.