Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
I sent one of those swabs off for DNA sampling. Apparently, I`m 50% Crest, 25% Denture fixative, 13% kebab, and 12% Rum.
My girlfriend said we can`t hang out this weekend because she doesn`t really exist.
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
You look over-medicated. What`s your doctor`s name?
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.
My favorite thing about marriage is sharing a house with the person most likely to murder me.
The longest five seconds in anyone’s life is waiting to press the “Skip Ad” button on YouTube.
Don’t waste electricity. How would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
"Paypal me your lunch money!" -Cyber Bullies
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
Life Insurance: Let me get this right. I pay you until I die, then someone ELSE gets the money?