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Apparently, when asked by a Traffic Cop "Where you going in such a hurry?", "To your sister`s house!" is not considered respectful to a law enforcement official......
On the first day of school, I tell all my students to rip up their textbooks ..then I leave before their REAL teacher arrives.
Scream “Chrome is better than Firefox” around a group of geeks if you wanna see them argue for 2 hours.
My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. I just know it.
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she`s never broken a lawnmower before.
Got tossed outta Starbucks this morning for asking the really cute redhead behind the counter for a "Quickie". Apparently it`s pronounced "Quiche`" who knew......
Do feminists look under their beds for the boogie woman?
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
Sarcasm: because beating the sh!t out of people is illegal.
A homeless man told me he hadn`t had a bite in weeks, so I bit him.
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.
I put the PRO in inappropriate!