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Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption "Summer is finally here!" or we wouldn`t have known it`s summer.
I like the parts of the day when food happens.
Jesus is coming.... look busy
"Slow and steady wins the race." Unless it`s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed
I’m having some vision trouble today. I can’t see myself doing anything.
By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn`t believe me.
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
My Ex-Wife: Our relationship is like being in prison! ME: I don’t think so. People have sex in prison.
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
I once dated a girl with a parrot. The thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though.
My right thumb is in the best shape of my life.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
Save water, shower together.
Clearly if you have to blame yourself, you`re not hanging out with enough people.