Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that`s your ghost outfit forever.
Yesterday was international ninja day and I didn`t even know. Well played ninja day, well played.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
OMG!! IT`S MONDAY ... What the f*ck do you think comes after Sunday, Sunday JR. ?
Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?
If I pretend to be dead will you stop talking?
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
Here`s hoping the wind at your back doesn`t come from the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch. Happy St. Patrick`s Day!
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
I believe in love at first sight or as science calls it, "boners."
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
I`ve run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon.
Nothing is quite as scary as hearing your doorbell ring on the same night you made a blood sacrifice to the dark lord.
thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
So I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.