Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying don`t run into anyone you know
The only problem with teaching little kids to share is that sometimes they want some of my stuff
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren`t there hot chocolate trucks in the winter?
It`s unfortunate that most people will never run out of things to say.
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced “Haha, f*ck you!”.
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out
Netflix would be by far the best dating site. "Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Pokemon for 12 straight hrs"
I drank so much vodka last night I woke up with a Russian accent.
Sometimes I get a little sad and feel like being alone. But then I talk to my dog about it and he reminds me I`m Awesome. Then WE DANCE.