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I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
My fortune cookie read "End of roll. Replace"
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible…but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell!
Double Stuff Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
Dear Santa: I have been good for the past week or so. Lets just focus on that.
After a certain point, the `F` on the thermometer no longer stands for Fahrenheit.
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
If you can make a woman laugh, you`re almost there. If you`re almost there & she laughs, now that`s a different thing.
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
Always look your best, cause you never know when your family is going to surprise you with an intervention.
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
To all the girls who think all guys are the same: Who told you to try them all? Whore.