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Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
Irons are like 1000 degrees, who`s bright idea was it to make an ironing board the flimsiest contraption ever made?
Lord, it`s me... Can you close your eyes for a couple minutes while I deal with a slight problem?
No thanks, cardio, this pot of coffee will get my heart rate up just fine
I`m working harder than an ugly stripper!!
Did you know that DNA actually stands for "National Dislectic Association"
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
Asking me if Iām hungry, is like asking me if I like money.
Do you guys remember 10 years ago, when all the people with gluten allergies were dying in the streets like diseased cattle?
I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.
insert coin to view my status
Some people you know was dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall and fell out the window.
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store