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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
Men are a lot like kids, if you want to shut them up, put a boob in their mouth.
It’s a strange moment, when you realize that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.
What if all this time it`s been Chicken that taste like Frog legs????
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes
I hate when the weather man says there is a chance of sprinkles in the forecast...makes me want donuts!!
Horse racing is like NASCAR only slower and with poop.
I`d totally order a salad bar. If it had lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard, hamburger and buns.
Surprise your wife today. Sell all her shoes and buy something nice for yourself.
Someone asked me if I`m ever scared that I`ll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my cat was right there.
Paperclips: The staple for people with commitment issues.