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Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
I`ve been struggling with my laziness. I can`t decide if I should sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing.
a friend will calm you down when you`re angry a best friend will run beside you with a baseball bat shouting, "somebody`s gonna get it!"
I`m gonna surprise my hand with some sex tonight!
I could write an entire book on excuses... but I have to drop my dog off at the airport.
My ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!
Every girl is beautiful, sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it....
My life is spent trying to get people to give me the silent treatment.
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
I like how the nice people of Sesame Street all know that Oscar the Grouch lives in that can, and yet they still stuff their trash into it.
roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs
Do you want to hear a joke about constipation and dementia? ...Well, tough sh!t, I forgot it.