Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
If I ran NASA, it would be mandatory for the ground crew to be dressed as apes when the space shuttle lands.
You know what’s worse than slow internet? NOTHING.
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
Inviting a friend to play Candy Crush Saga is like hosting an intervention and providing the crack.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
I`ll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life i am going to "allow to cool in microwave for 1 minute"!
Girl: I have changed my mind. Boy: Thank God! Does the new one work?
Dyslexics are teople poo.. :|
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears