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I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
If I ran NASA, it would be mandatory for the ground crew to be dressed as apes when the space shuttle lands.
You know what’s worse than slow internet? NOTHING.
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
Inviting a friend to play Candy Crush Saga is like hosting an intervention and providing the crack.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
I`ll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life i am going to "allow to cool in microwave for 1 minute"!
Girl: I have changed my mind. Boy: Thank God! Does the new one work?
Dyslexics are teople poo.. :|
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears