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Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
The bible says you can`t buy your way into heaven but there isn`t a church in the country that won`t encourage you to try.
Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
I`m too lazy to be a stalker. You`ll have to come here. Bring coffee.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Is it bad that "WINE" is always on my grocery list? At the top? In all caps?
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
dude i wasent tht drunk you were huging a peice of chese saying ill never let u go sponge bob
I used to question how much information was too much information. Joined Facebook, It`s much clearer now
Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?
As far as distractions go ... I like to think I`m a good one.
If there`s a "Mr." in front of your cat`s name you`re going to die alone.