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You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can’t conjugate verbs.
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
Relax… We’re all crazy.. It’s not a competition.
I don`t always say `oops`, but when I do, it`s usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea.
Its O.K. to laugh during sex … just don’t point ! ... trust me
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
Monopoly: Destroying friendships since 1904
you have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I`m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist