Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
I hate grocery shopping. That`s why I just steal a full cart when somebody turns away. I never know what I`m getting, but it sure is faster.
My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown it’s all panic and screaming.
Million dollar idea: Pills that you can take with alcohol.
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
Nothing says `I dont take you seriously` like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
Facebook - the place where you can whine and get likes for it...
What is depression? Depression is when you buy a new hula-hoop and it fits you.
Back in my day it was called daydreaming…not ADHD.
How many Weight Watcher points are in an entire bottle of wine?
How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"?
I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it`s Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn`t met me yet