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Whatever I did to make you hate me, I’d like to know. I have other people I can use that on.
I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.
You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
Don`t tell me I have to say "Happy Holidays" so nobody gets offended. I will "Merry Christmas" the sh!t out of you.
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, 9 if you`re ugly.
Don`t act like your not impressed.
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
The lottery is over $400 million. Sorry poor kids, no dinner tonight...
Does anyone have a good recipe for homemade gasoline?
I get a lot of “You must work out!!!” I just wish it wasn’t from doctors. :(
I don`t even know why chicks spend so much time and money on their hair when all guys look at is their tits.
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
I think that some of the people I see in Wal Mart shouldn`t be allowed to leave Wal Mart.
The 4 stages of a relationship: 1. I like you 2. I love you 3. I hate you 4. Arson