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Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
Hello 911? Do you think i`m pretty?
I screamed a Brazilian times during that waxing.
On the first day of school, I tell all my students to rip up their textbooks ..then I leave before their REAL teacher arrives.
I typed bitch into my GPS and guess what? I`m in your drive way. Vroom, vroom mother f*%ker.
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
Before Google, I averaged 220 Snapple bottles before I found the answer.
"I`m glad the weekends over" -Nobody ever
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
Iād slap you but Iām pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty.
In alcohol`s defence, I`ve done some pretty dumb sh*t while completely sober too.
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....
Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.