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People will do odd things to get even.
Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"
When we catch the people who kill elephants & rhinos, can we pull all their teeth first?
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
Guys i did not copy or edit this status of mine.Please believe this is my own idea!
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
When I`m bored, I send a random text to a random number saying "I hid the body... now what?"
Karma takes too long ..... I`d rather beat the sh%t out of you.
I sure do feel a whole lot more attractive at WalMart than I do at the gym.
I`m so broke right now if anybody robbed me they`d just be practicing
Why can’t we all just get a Long Island Iced Tea?
Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.
Sitting in traffic like the non-helicopter owning loser that I am.