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My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night. So I said I had a headache.
French people give me the crepes.
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
It`s a little disappointing when you`re watching a school basket ball game & no one turns into a werewolf.
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
Saying you like one political party over another, is like saying one filthy whore is prettier than the other filthy whore.
If people in horror movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
I think the Worst Part about admitting you are an Alcoholic ..is People expect you to Quit Drinking.
For over 20 years, I thought Bon Jovi gave love a Band-Aid
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!