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Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
You know you’re awesome when you know you’re awesome.
THESE NACHOS ARE THE BOMB! …..and that’s how I got my nachos taken away at the airport.
Right before I die, my last words will be, "I left a million dollars in the........
Something I never said as a kid: My book stopped working.
Lets be honest. Half of life is messing up and half is frantically trying to fix it.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
Nothing hides your feelings like the backspace key.
People who eat grapes are impatient alcoholics
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of crazy.
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you were able to steal 12 of his hoodies.
I don`t have a drinking problem........I just celebrate everything!!! Like the fact that I have pants on, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.
Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?