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I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"
Why do baby clothes have pockets?
500 + friends... and not one of you saw where I put the remote?
Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you´ve had?
Tip of the day: When the cop asks you if you had anything to drink in the last 24 hours, do NOT ask them for the time... trust me
You know what would make my cubicle super cute? Fire.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
I haven`t crunched all the numbers, but early calculations show that a large percentage of people don`t care what you think.
My New Years resolution is to stop procrastinating so much.
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s
Porn is the only type of entertainment where "not watching the whole thing" means it was good.
Live For Today… Plan For Tomorrow… Party Tonight!
Im so lazy today, I am going to watch fast and furious in slow motion.
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)