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Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
Hey NSA, we all know you`re there now. So click the approve on my Candy Crush ticket request.
Sorry, I can’t today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandfather’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and yes, it was tragic.
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
Pretty much the only time I want to hear about your ex is if she`s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I`m good.
To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car.
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don`t like her new haircut.
*spits out animal cracker* This doesn`t even taste like hippo.
You dont know sh!t about pressure until you`re the only Black person on the dance floor while white people clap & form a circle around you
The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.