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Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners.
My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don`t run into anyone you know.
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee!
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
When a man talks dirty to a woman it`s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man it`s $3.95 per minute.
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
All my passwords are protected by amnesia.
Today is National Fritters Day. I don`t know what that means, so I just went naked today. Gotta be something like that.
Never date someone that works for your cell phone provider. Just sayin
I found that 99% of the time, when I`m not listening, just saying "that`s some bullshi*t" makes them happy.
Never underestimate the power of the web. -Charlotte
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
The phrase “Ignore it and it will go away.” does NOT apply to being chased by a dozen cop cars.....trust me on this one.
As a Harry Potter fan, I wanted to go to Hogwarts. As a Hunger Games fan, not so much...