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You`ve reached the limitations of my medications.
The patience I have for my kids is directly proportional to the amount of people watching me.
7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
Free will is good, but free pizza is better.
The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from.
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
I`m reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
I don`t lift so maybe I`m wrong about this, but I feel like Popeye might be focusing on his forearms too much.
what is the difference between a Fly and a mosquito? ``A fly can fly, But a Mosquito can`t mosquito``
You know it`s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
I declare today, “Hit that dumb person you’ve always wanted to punch in the face day.”
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.
The self-driving car should have an "I`m Feeling Lucky" button that drives you to a random location.
Word of the day is bishop: My aunt fell down the stairs and I had to pick the bishop.