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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. It’s giving payment when payment is due that I seem to struggle with.
Save time. See it my way.
I`m not homophobic, I love my house!
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
It must be really hard to judge wet t-shirt contests. I saw one recently, and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
My coworkers will stand around confused during a fire drill but the office turns into the Hunger Games when there`s lunch brought in for everyone
"Do you have a charger?" is the new "Could I bum a cigarette?"
I bet if there were little basketball hoops above every garbage can, littering would greatly decrease.
"You`re so cute!" works as a response to anything my girl says 99% of the time when I`m not listening which is 99% of the time.
Sarcasm: because beating the sh!t out of people is illegal.
Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
There`s nothing like the laughter of a baby....unless you`re home alone at 1 am...and you don`t have children...
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.