Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
Nothing improves creativity like a lack of supervision!
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best-looking guy in the world, but,....Oh,hell. Now I`m depressed.
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinkyhead that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
Nothing ruins hump day like not getting humped.
Make Tomorrow More Fun: Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold
Did 4 push ups & 2 sit ups then ate 4 doughnuts & drank 2 beers. It`s called balance people!
You’ll never be as young as you are now.
it`s a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors
I don`t know about you....but I have thought about running away from home way more as an adult than I ever did as a kid.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
Trust me, I am a liar.
I have no time or patience for games in my relationships. Unless by “games” you’re referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.
awesome collection!
HR says I`m not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(