Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
Why do they call a grapefruit a grapefruit? I mean there is already a fruit called a grape!!
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
If you were a Pokemon, I`d choose you.
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever
My favorite thing to say to old people is, "When I was your age I didn`t believe in reincarnation either".
It`s amazing what you can accomplish when you do stuff.
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.
I can`t take this long distance relationship anymore.. Fridge, you`re coming to my room.
Don`t understand how you can forget about someone you loved so much. Like that time my mum drove off and left me in the supermarket car park