Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some relationships are like fat people, they don`t Workout!!
Life would be so much better if there were piñatas strategically placed throughout my day.
My RSVP : I`ll be attending your wedding alone but consuming enough cake and alcohol for at least two.
This dishwasher sucks. It`s already ruined three of my paper plates.
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
“100 Calorie Packs” roughly translated means “Eat Two or Three of These”
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.
The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn`t even apply for the job.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I’m part of the other 2%
It looks like bathroom tai chi but it`s me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser.
Sometimes I get a little sad and feel like being alone. But then I talk to my dog about it and he reminds me I`m Awesome. Then WE DANCE.