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One day when I was at the beach there was a guy in the ocean yelling, "Shark! Help!" And I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn`t going to help him.
Its not my fault if I blame everyone for my mistakes...right?
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
Sure, I can speak Spanish... "Margarita!"
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
People pay to sponsor animals in the wild and get pic updates on it. Well if anyone would like to sponsor me I will send you a selfie a day.
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
I think my other three stove burners are becoming jealous of front-right.
Sometimes I wish I was a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.
Since joining Facebook, about 8 aggressive lampposts have walked up to me in the street and punched me in the face.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.