Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I finally figured out why men love belly rings so much on their women. It reminds them of the staple in the middle of their porn magazines!
Rawwrrr means I love you in dinosaur. Everyone knows that, silly
The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I`m cute, I would have 1 dollar ... thanks mom.
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
If you’re happy and you know it, you’re probably exhausting to be around.
My screensaver is a screenshot of a bunch of spreadsheets so my boss doesn’t notice when I haven’t moved my mouse in an hour.
According to my nipples, there is a 99% chance it`s cold as hell right now!
Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with my car.
My daughter asked me why I carry a gun inside the house. I told her I was scared of the CIA. She laughed. I laughed. Amazon Echo laughed.
Notice how writers don’t rewrite books, how about we stop remaking movies.
Our parents did the same sh!t too, they`re just liars.