Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate when my camera rings, in the middle of a selfie.
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrea.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on the list.
There`s both a McDonald`s and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".
Dear IRS…I would like an itemized receipt showing me exactly how every one of my tax dollars is being spent. Thanks.
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
Doc: ``Hows your headache ?`` Me: ``She`s at home``
Congratulations India on successfully orbiting a probe around Mars. I assume you`ll be opening call centers on the red planet and using fake Martian names now?
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
It`s called fall because everything is falling; leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.
SAFETY TIP: Lock your doors and windows before bed. By the way, I love what you`ve done with the place.
I drive safer when there`s food on my passenger seat than when there`s a person sitting there.