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ALCOHOL - Because no good story ever started with someone drinking a glass of orange juice.
So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
Rum balls, rum cake, rum spiked eggnog, rum in fruitcakes...you know, anymore, there`s more of the Captain than of Christ in Christmas...
Sarcasm. Because communicating with morons is hard.
Whenever our neighbor`s dog is barking, I know there`s either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened.
What if 11:11 actually works but there`s one person in this world that`s wishing for everyone`s wishes to not come true?
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
There`s both a McDonald`s and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life.
Adding "and sh!t" to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
No, an erection is not considered personal growth.
The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
The only clubs I’m into are sandwiches.
I wish I could pick which brain cells the alcohol kills....There`s ALOT of crap I wish I could forget about.....
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I was flattered.