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The best nicknames are the ones you don’t even know you have.
I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend.
Some will forget, the others are simply women.
The only human interaction I want for the rest of the day is the exchange of money between me and the liquor store cashier
If I learned anything from my children, it`s that it is always OK to do something stupid, as long as someone DARED you to do it.
Money can’t buy you happiness? Well, poverty can’t buy you anything.
Why do they even offer 2014 as an option when selecting your birth date? Like you’re fresh out of the womb ready to join Gmail.
I don`t get why girls get so offended by sexist jokes..I think they are just ovary-acting. Seriously..
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn`t. Stupid enough to do it anyway.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets??