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Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
Let`s party like there`s no tomorrow and call in sick if there is one.
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
Michael Schumacher`s former crew just visited him in the hospital. They changed the wheels on his bed and his drip in 4.4 secs.
Finally down to my pre-pregnancy/pre-kids weight...well...before my wife had kids I mean.
Glad McDonald`s don`t serve hotdogs, I don`t think I could order a McWeiner with a straight face.
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
Me: You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Her: You just want to have sex with me. Me: And you’re smart too, I like that.
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!