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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`ve discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number.
I accidentally lit the wrong end of a cigarette-that can`t be healthy!
If you didn`t hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don`t invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
Great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone`s computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch
I know some of you would find it hard to believe, but I don`t say everything that pops into my head. I don`t think the average person could handle it.
Anyone who knows me obviously knows a shit ton about awesomeness.
People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I`m not expecting them to be practical
If he remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs
Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart anymore isnt it??
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why I fell asleep on the kitchen counter… naked… again.
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"