Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
My favorite part of Summer is the booze. Coincidentally, that`s my favorite part of the other 3 seasons, too.
It should cost $10 to leave someone a voicemail.
Make Tomorrow More Fun: Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold
People who say they sleep like a baby usually dont have one
I`ve just invented an invisibility cloak; anything under it is rendered completely invisible. I`m still working out the kinks; you can still see the cloak itself
Ask me about my ability to annoy complete strangers.
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
I’m in no shape to exercise.
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
I`m known all over the world for my exaggerations.
It`s amazing how much more money I have when I`m drunk.
Parenting is a lot like the bar scene: Everyone`s yelling, everything`s sticky, it`s the same music over and over again and occasionally someone pukes somewhere they
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She`s 97 today and we don`t know where the hell she is.