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Oh, you’re surprised I’m still single? I’m surprised you can dress yourself. So I guess we’re even.
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts..
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
As my mother-in-law and I fight to the death for her son`s love, I sometimes think to myself, "This may be the worst prize ever."
My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: "None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."
Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line.... *as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.
If cats could talk, they`d probably always be correcting your grammar.
I hate when the weather man says there is a chance of sprinkles in the forecast...makes me want donuts!!
I`m one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
You would think with all the ice water laying all over the world, it would be a lot cooler...
So today my gym was crowded...at least I think it was a gym...Do gyms usually have drive thrus?