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I have a disease called AWESOME...You don`t understand it since you don`t have it.
If you think you aren`t creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
Shout out to Pringles for never giving us a half can of air.
Note to self: When sending Valentines messages don`t use group text next year.
One day, I`m gonna wait for the Wal-Mart greeter to go on a bathroom break, step in their place, and begin welcoming everyone to K-mart.
If it looks like a pig and walks like a pig, do me a favor & tell my ex girlfriend I said hello.
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
I`m placing myself in "time-out" until I`m able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!
Look in the mirror and tell me that God does not have a sense of humor.
I try to live each day like it`s my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
Why can’t we all just get a Long Island Iced Tea?
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
Hoping that Steve Harvey isn`t the one announcing the winning Powerball numbers tonight!
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.