Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Years ago, my girlfriend said, “It’s me or the beer!” I wonder how she doing…
So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
Some people need to calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
I’m just going to put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
I gave my boyfriend a glue stick instead of a Chapstick last weekend, and he`s still not talking to me!
Happy "Another excuse to drink" Day!
Anybody know where the cheapest place to buy 12 red roses is?.....just asking for a friend.
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
Go to China on honeymoon. Get intimate with Husband. Tell child that they were "Made in China."
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
The most impressive thing about how cowboys used to have showdowns at high noon is that they could get two people to be on time to something
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice