Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.
My doctor said he`s been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better.
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
Just a friendly reminder, there are a minimum of three spiders in your room at all times. Goodnight...
My relationship is mostly me apologizing for saying something super bada$$ and hilarious
A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
Stop picking on Justin Bieber. That`s somebody`s daughter.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
My therapist told me I`m nuts. I said "I wanted a second opinion." She said "Well ok, you`re ugly too."
I have read so much about the dangers of drinking and smoking, that i have decided to quit reading
All of my plans for the future start out with “when I get rich”
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.