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I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
I go to McDonald`s once a month just to replenish the napkin stash in my car
Another day where I`m not skinny, rich or famous. Getting real tired of this sh*t.
Answer your phone, "come in" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond.
It`s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
Remember to look both ways before crossing a woman.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
$100 for a dozen red what?! That`s a lot of money for a plant you can’t smoke.
It’s 2015, why cant you unselect a floor in an elevator yet?
Do you think the inventor of the USB will be buried twice? The 2nd time because they put him in the wrong way?
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.
You could pleasure me just by walking away.